Ask Qul - Women's Issues - Abusive Marital Relations

Pearl of Wisdom

?O 'Abd al-A'la, ...give my greetings of peace and the mercy of Allah to my shi'a, and tell them: 'Allah has mercy on the servant who incites love in the people towards himself and towards us [when attracting them towards Islam], by displaying to them that which they already like, and keeping from them that which they would reject.'

Imam Ja'far ibn Muhammad al-Sadiq [as]

Bihar al-Anwar, v. 2, p. 77, no. 62

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Question : #1143

Category: Women's Issues

Subject:	Abusive Marital Relations
Question:	In the Name of Allah Salaam, I have some questions about marital rights in Islam. What are the rights of a husband over his wife in a marriage? Does a husband have the right to only allow his wife to go to places that he consents to, wear clothing that he approves of, and only associate with people that he likes? Does a man have the right to keep his wife from going out, to not let her continue her education at university, for example, or to work? If a man gives a woman her dowry and they are legally married (nikah), must she surrender to her husband's sexual requests in any case, unless she has a Sharia excuse? For example, is her husband permitted to take her into any hotel room he wants, even though she is not comfortable with this arrangement, and would prefer to wait until they live together in their new home? If this is all permitted, this would mean allowing for the possibility of women to be in abusive relationships. Control,possessiveness, overprotectiveness, extreme jealousy, for a woman to feel that she always has to please her husband at the expense of her own self, and needs and requires permission from her spouse to go somewhere are not signs of love, but of abuse, and should not be excused. They are all signs of an abusive relationship.
Answer:	Our Sheikh will respond to this question in the coming days Insha'Allah, check again soon

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